Stop the ride I want to get off...

Monday, January 23, 2006

mars and venus...

Apology and excuses first....

I am so sorry for vanishing for almost a month. Have upped my anti depressants and have almost got the house back to normal after the six weeks in bed. It amazes me how hubby claims it's all my mess, yet when I stay in bed for six weeks the house got in a worse state than usual. Packing away Christmas Decorations was a mammoth task this year. But we got there, and another year has passed and Amy said see you next Christmas to the nativity set. I remember when she was ill her doing that and I had to hide behind the tree so she wouldn't see me crying.

Just had my check up today, oh the joys of the nasty mammogram machine. All normal, so far so good. Today was Jinx first birthday. How does a dog know it's his birthday? Tis morning he was acting just like the kids do on their birthdays.

I also had a deadlin e to meet with a piece of knitting, will show you all on Thursday. Suffice to say I am very proud of myself and loving my treat to myself.

Back to topic...

"We women deal with fear differently to men. They just beat what they fear into submission. We meet it, let it wash over us and then get on with it."

found at

This quote struck home with me. Is this why my hubby didn't cope so well with my duaghter and I being well? Cancer isn't something you can beat into submission. Is this why my son is a social wreck at the minute, we are trying to build him back up. But you do have to wonder what goes through his head. He's a lovely lad, empathic, loving but over sensitive. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if his reaction when he gets upset wasn't to lash out and hit, or presume he's being bullied or picked on. Life has been picking on him, but now we have to get him to see that it's time to move on. Already at the age of nine he is lost when he can't lash out at what he fears. His young way of dealing with it, lash out at something else.

I just hope we can get through to him before it becomes a habit.

Meanwhile my hubby did seem to be improving.. heck I can't even claim to be a nun anymore.... well not in 2005, if twice counts? It's all stopped and we carry on with the celibate lifestyle. I'm looking at this quote and trying to see if it gives me an answer to but it doesn't. The only answer I can come up with is that I'm not attractive, I do nothing for him, I should just give up. So you see why I uppped the anti depressants. I'm sorry it stopped me posting, I just didn't want to post a pile of whines. Now I'm back figured I'd get it all off my chest in one move and then start planning some more cheery posts.

IDeas for posts gratefully recieved, Seamus idea of telling memory strikes me as a good one to start off with... but we'll see. All ideas gratefully recieved... hugs to you all for checking in on me all this time.


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